I haven’t done nearly enough reading to have a full understanding of the history of sex work and the roles it has played in various societies over the millennia, and I would be very grateful for reading recommendations in the comments. In the meantime, I would like to discuss current attitudes and practices regarding sex work as they apply to the size fantasy community. Specifically, I would like to examine what is okay and not okay when approaching creators and others and how to calibrate one’s expectations. This is very obviously a discussion in process, and I am open to being corrected, clarified, and educated. Please respond with your thoughts below.
I bring all this up because when you tell someone how they should participate in the size community (create certain content, play certain roles), you are demanding that they perform sex work for your gratification.
What is sex work?
For purposes of this discussion, I define sex work as any activity that provides sexual gratification to and is completely directed and controlled by the sex client. The latter element is key. A sex worker may or may not be paid and they may or may not derive gratification from their own labor, but if they do not control the terms and conditions of the activity it is work. This is why sex clients seek sex workers, not because they cannot find sexual gratification by other means, but because they want to control the terms and conditions of that gratification.
When two or more people collaborate in an activity that produces sexual gratification, they are sex partners (for whatever duration). Some sex partners might still compensate others, but it is the shared control over the nature of the activity that distinguishes it from sex work. An artist might, on their own, create sexual content and publish it for others to enjoy (or not). They might or might not require compensation for their content. This only becomes sex work when the artist starts to view their audience as a market and modifies their content to meet the demands of their sex clients.
Sex workers are full members of society and do not give up any of their rights. Specifically, in a just society sex workers have the rights to A) refuse work, B) be compensated fairly, C) dignity and respect. It is unethical to demand sex workers to perform activity they have declined, to fail to fairly compensate them for their labor, or to harass or abuse them or to stigmatize their work.
Size content creators are not (necessarily) your employees.
If an artist is creating content for publication, they are conscious of others’ tastes as they create. However, wanting to create something that others will enjoy, even on a sexual level, does not oblige them to create something to the specifications of whomever demands it. Even when an artist solicits feedback and constructive criticism, it is not appropriate to respond with how their work would be more to your taste if the characters were of a different gender or if they performed different acts or if the emotional tone of the work was different. At best such cavils disrespect the artist’s vision, and they always demonstrate the critic’s self-centeredness.
If you want to dictate the terms of size content, commission the artist. They are, of course, free to decline your terms or to demand greater compensation than you think is justified, just as you are free to decline to patronize their work. That’s just the give-and-take of the marketplace. In any event, they never deserve harassment, ostracism, or abuse for failing to meet your demands.
Erotic roleplaying is an activity that some people engage in for free while others do it for money. In either case, it always works best for all parties when the terms and tone and boundaries are explicitly established beforehand. Even if someone roleplays for free, however, doesn’t mean that they are obliged to play whatever role you demand. Everyone should be enjoying themselves anyway, so why would you want to roleplay with someone who isn’t enthusiastic about the scene?
Deception isn’t any less unethical when it is motivated by sexual thirst.
I’m most familiar with this phenomenon in the ASMR community, but it extends to any encounter where one party is unaware of the sexual aspect of their content. This is not to say that mainstream size content should not be mentally, privately “repurposed” by size fantasists; that is how almost all of us discovered our desires in the first place. The problem arises when you contact an artist and try to influence their work towards size content that scratches your itch. Again, if you want a command performance, commission a custom video or subscribe to the appropriate Patreon level.
Note that even non-deceptive feedback can be harassment if it’s unwelcome. Every content creator has had the unpleasant experience of people making comments that introduce an unwanted sexual dimension to their work. Just because a particular scenario might lend itself well to size fantasy is not a justification for making a comment or a tweet to the artist (and their followers) that pushes them to consider such an interpretation. Shoving your fetish in someone’s face isn’t any less hostile than flashing them on the subway.
Conniving at obtaining sexually-gratifying content from someone who isn’t aware of your intentions is unethical and selfish in the extreme. You are demanding sex work from someone who has almost certainly not agreed to perform it. Being honest in your interactions with others is not only ethical, it also results in more heartfelt size content.
The key is simply respecting others.
Respect their boundaries, their preferences, their vision, their effort, their time, their privacy. This includes yourself. Don’t let your fetish make you an asshole.
El Amante Menguante 