Oh, hi. This is awkward.
I mean, you’re just sitting there, looking at your phone. You probably didn’t expect to see a three-inch-tall person walking across your living room floor.
I wasn’t really prepared to be spotted, either. On the one hand, I knew this day would come sooner or later, but now that it’s happened, I find myself unable to move.
You’re not moving, either, except to put your phone down and let your jaw drop slightly. The sight of that last bit causes a warm rush in my chest, and I start to understand what I’m doing out here.
Your legs swing out and down, and now you stand up to your full height. I’ve seen you standing up before, of course, but now you’re closer than we’ve ever been. Oh boy, those are some huge feet swinging towards me, and my palms tingle before I even feel the vibrations through the floor. But I override all that and just shift my stance so I can tilt my head back.
You stop when you’re about three feet away, and I can tell you’re wondering why I haven’t tried to flee. I’m wondering the same thing myself, although every second I spend looking up into your face and not at your feet or hands centers me, brings balance to my legs and stiffness to my spine.
I’m ready for you to resume advancing, to place one foot on each side of me and to gaze straight down upon me. Instead, you lower yourself onto your haunches and extend one arm towards me, your upturned hand flat on the floor.
This is it. I know now that at least a part of me deliberately arranged for you to see me, and now it’s time to follow through. Fleeing now might prevent me from ever approaching again.
You haven’t moved. Your hand is still open to me, your face still full of hope and puzzlement. My heart is in my throat as I take my first steps toward you. Your breath catches, and absurdly I begin to fear for you; a such huge being, all those cells—you need to keep breathing!
I’m almost at your outstretched fingertips and I look up into your face again. There’s no cunning to be found there, but your tongue is twitching at the delicacy of the moment. I take a deep breath, then step over the threshold and onto your waiting fingers.
You should see the smile of wonder spreading across your face. You still haven’t taken a breath, you know. Each step is lighter and easier than the last as I reach your palm. For lack of a better gesture, I emphatically sit down on the soft warm flesh, reaching behind me with my hands and bending my knees to place my feet flat. Then I look back into your eyes and I want to never move again.
My stomach drops as you slowly rise back up. Only when you return to your full height and bring me close to your face do you finally inhale. The wind rushing through your sinus sounds like the sigh of a mountain. But nothing holds me or carries me or lifts me as propellingly as the gaze of your eyes.
Ever since they first focused on me, your eyes have animated my every move. Every twist and step has been made in the full awareness of your attention. I may have placed myself on the hook, but your eyes reeled me in.
And now your gaze suffuses me, my body radiating back its warmth. Like petals unfolding to the sun, my limbs flex and stretch as I stand up in your palm. My breath and pulse remain strong, but the knowledge of your total possession of me passes through and settles within me, calming and fortifying my sinews.
Look as long as you like. Look at my twinkly eyes and goofy grin, still marveling that I made it this far. Look at my fluttering arms and delicate hands, eager to press and poke your enclosing skin. Look at my resolute shoulders and straining thighs, determined to keep my balance and my pride. Look at—oh, yes, have a look at that. See what you’ve done?
I want you to see all of me, to let your eyes feast on whatever they desire. You have me in your grasp, and I will never flee or shirk or withhold from your gaze. You can see it from my posture, from the acceptance in my jaw. I will always be within your reach, available to your regard.
As you subject my finest features to your enveloping scrutiny, you also see my undisguised elation. There’s no mistaking the heaves of joy as my chest rises and falls. You realize now that I was driven into your hand by my own urgent need. I need you to see me, to possess me with your eyes. I need to be the object of your wonder, your appreciation, your desire.
Have you been waiting for something like this to happen? I can see now that I have. I suppose, then, that when I stepped into your hand, I was giving a gift to both of us.
I hope you like it.
Originally posted: 27 Jun 2016
El Amante Menguante 