Image: Felicitas Woll and Stephan Luca in Großer Mann Ganz Klein!
Me: There’s nothing wrong with being tiny.
Tiny: I’m sure you’re right. I, however, am not tiny.
Me: Really. Okay, if you’re not tiny, why don’t you pick up this banana? It probably weighs all of eight ounces.
Tiny: I could pick it up, but I choose not to. Besides, it has fruit flies on it.
Me: One fly. Only a tiny would be afraid of a single fruit fly.
Tiny: West Nile virus doesn’t care how big you are.
Me: Fruit flies don’t—forget it. Alright, if you’re not tiny, I suppose you won’t mind if I put both my arms around you and give you a hug?
Tiny: Please don’t, I just washed my hair and too much static electricity will make it frizz out something terrible.
Me: Oh for crying out loud, if you’re not tiny, how come I have to carry you everywhere?
Tiny: You don’t have to carry me; you’re my friend, and I know how good it makes you feel to be helpful, so I let you do it. I’m big that way.
Tiny: So, if you’re done babbling, would you mind setting me down by the cookie jar?
Tiny: Don’t forget to open the lid. Thanks.
Originally posted: 25 Aug 2015