This didn’t get nearly the number of notes on Tumblr that I had expected. When I was in college, Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies was on every hipster’s shelf, and everyone enjoyed the macabre deaths. It seemed a natural fit for size fantasy, but for whatever reason my version was a flop as these things go. Because I worked really hard on it, here it is again.
A is for AUSTIN who was ground under a heel
B is for BRITNEY thrown from a hamster wheel
C is for CODY who was fed to a snake
D is for DARCY blended into a shake
E is for ELLIE entombed between boobs
F is for FARRAH who was strangled with pubes
G is for GABI who was mounted on cork
H is for HAZEM run through with a fork
I is for IRENE beheaded by a thumb
J is for JAMIE who was mired in cum
K is for KYLE carried off by rats
L is for LOGAN a plaything for frats
M is for MALIK smothered by a kiss
N is for NINA who drowned in piss
O is for OMAR who was buried in ass
P is for PADMA preserved under glass
Q is for QUSAY who was lost in a sock
R is for RONNIE who was rammed by a cock
S is for SHELBY spread on a bagel
T is for TRISTAN grist for a Kegel
U is for UTHER flushed down the loo
V is for VIJAY who was bitten in two
W is for WYATT who was torched with a match
X is for XIA who went down the hatch
Y is for YASMIN who was scalded with wax
Z is for ZACH inundated at climax
Originally posted: 24 Aug 2016
El Amante Menguante 