The Crasslythumbed Tinies

Crasslythumbed Tinies
Squeezed (detail) by Manuscul

This didn’t get nearly the number of notes on Tumblr that I had expected. When I was in college, Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies was on every hipster’s shelf, and everyone enjoyed the macabre deaths. It seemed a natural fit for size fantasy, but for whatever reason my version was a flop as these things go. Because I worked really hard on it, here it is again.

A is for AUSTIN who was ground under a heel
B is for BRITNEY thrown from a hamster wheel

C is for CODY who was fed to a snake
D is for DARCY blended into a shake

E is for ELLIE entombed between boobs
F is for FARRAH who was strangled with pubes

G is for GABI who was mounted on cork
H is for HAZEM run through with a fork

I is for IRENE beheaded by a thumb
J is for JAMIE who was mired in cum

K is for KYLE carried off by rats
L is for LOGAN a plaything for frats

M is for MALIK smothered by a kiss
N is for NINA who drowned in piss

O is for OMAR who was buried in ass
P is for PADMA preserved under glass

Q is for QUSAY who was lost in a sock
R is for RONNIE who was rammed by a cock

S is for SHELBY spread on a bagel
T is for TRISTAN grist for a Kegel

U is for UTHER flushed down the loo
V is for VIJAY who was bitten in two

W is for WYATT who was torched with a match
X is for XIA who went down the hatch

Y is for YASMIN who was scalded with wax
Z is for ZACH inundated at climax

Originally posted: 24 Aug 2016

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