Let me propose this scenario to you—if you like X over Y, it’s fine and dandy. No one bats an eye. But if you so much as mention you like Y more than X, especially in a noncon sense, then you’re a bad person and you support rape. Not only that, if Y dominates X then you’re a misogynist. I’m so sick and tired of being called that just for liking guys dominating females. How do you deal with all the shit you get from your position?
I definitely know where you’re coming from, anon. There’s a lot of judgemental people out there who will demonize you for what you like in a fictional sense, especially if it involves dominant men. It’s sad, it sucks, but there’s no changing that.
As for how to deal with it… well, sometimes it’s hard. I’ve almost left this fetish entirely a few times because of getting tired of the crap people would give me and anons that saw fit to try to make me feel like a horrible human being. But you know what? They want you to feel terrible. They want to scare you off. They want to affect you in hopes of making you stop enjoying what you enjoy because they don’t like/approve of it. And it’s not worth it to give those people what they want. They don’t deserve to take something away from you that you enjoy in a fictional, safe setting that harms literally no one. It’s not your or my, or anyone’s else’s problem if they have personal issues with it. That’s completely on them. They can easily avoid it if they choose to. And that’s why I refuse to quit and refuse to ‘change’ myself. I don’t have to—no one can tell me what I can or can’t enjoy in a completely fictional sense. It doesn’t define me as a person or define my morals. Like everyone in this world, we all enjoy something that’s probably a little out of the norm. It’s completely common. And as long as we aren’t hurting anyone or spreading it around like it’s acceptable in real life or anything like that, we are doing nothing wrong.
Just remember that. In truth, the ones that attack people over that and cut them down—they are the ones who are intolerant jerks seeking to hurt other people, unlike how we’re not seeking to hurt anyone. It’s funny how that works, but that’s what it boils down to. We’re not bad people. We have harmless fictional fantasies. Embrace it. Labels mean nothing from people that can’t differentiate fiction from reality. And it’s not our job to teach them tolerance. It’s their problem.
As I said, I know it’s hard sometimes, but just try to build up an immunity to it. Remind yourself that you’re doing nothing wrong. They want your attention and they want to get to you. Either don’t give it to them or sass them like I do sometimes. *fist-bump* You are not alone.
This is fantasy.
Your fantasies do not define you. Your mind is an immense place. You can get off to “problematic” fantasies and still be a good person. Do not judge others for their kinks.
I am a full-on feminist. I espouse and practice affirmative and enthusiastic consent among real people. I support dignity, respect, and justice for all people everywhere. I abhor cruelty, dehumanization, and bullying, whether they are committed by individuals, institutions, nations, or faiths. I also sometimes get off to fantasies of shrinking, kidnapping, raping, and eating women (sometimes it’s the other way around).
If you find this difficult to comprehend, this might not be the blog for you. Or perhaps it is.
Originally posted: 07 Feb 2018