Added one story to Original Stories by Olo:
| From Insertion Till Extraction
Spies and shrink rays in a Robert Rodriguez pastiche. |
07 Jul 2013
|
From the Archives – 20190302
Published
Added one story to Original Stories by Olo:
| From Insertion Till Extraction
Spies and shrink rays in a Robert Rodriguez pastiche. |
07 Jul 2013
|
El Amante Menguante 
Is this an early Olo? I’m one third of the way done, so I’ll have more things to say later, and some of this may be unfair: If you’re going to mention how fitted an outfit is on a woman… if you’re gonna have her breasting boobily down the stairs, you should probably have a male character cock dickely out of bed… or something. 😛 If we know how well her boobs look, it might be fair to write about how clearly delineated his package is through the fabric of his pants.
Though I suspect your use of the word “pastiche” to describe your story is also an explanation for the titting passages. Anyway, more and better later.
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Yes, early Olo (2013), and in fact only my second story composed for publication. Believe it or not, I actually skimmed through this yesterday to try to tone down the exact issue you mention. It could definitely do with a rewrite. Yes, Rodriguez’s style is very much in the pulpy tradition, but I chose it for that reason, so all the booby breasting is on me.
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It starts getting good about a third of the way in. I know you “cast” actors to play these characters, but that’s always gotten in the way of my enjoying storytelling. I always prefer imagining the people rather than have them described for me. That’s nothing new, and I have nothing against The this-is-a-movie-you’re-watching approach. It just takes away from it, is all.
I never want to read the words “sofa-sized lips” again. They make me cringe. I’ve used it myself in writing and RP, and I’m embarrassed for myself. For all of us. For humanity. 🙂
I like the use of “subjective” in “ten subjective feet”. When I’m writing, I always feel this need to clarify. “Her stare fixed him in place though it loomed two hundred feet away from him… but not REAL feet! It just felt like feet because he’s so tiny! But it was more like five feet and four inches.” But “subjective” polishes that necessity to a neat gleam.
Please don’t write senorita without the accent on the ñ. >:/
Though not my favorite story you’ve written, it’s got something for everyone. I didn’t feel invested in any of the characters, but that’s not your writing’s fault when it’s an action fest that would look good as a movie. I’d watch it, and I’d replay some parts.
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This is just the kind of feedback that I want. Thank you much!
I had a couple of inspirations for this one, and as I’m reflecting on it years later, I can see how they were working at cross-purposes. I’m pretty much always on the lookout for ways to demonstrate how accessible size smut can be to people who “never thought about it like that” before.
Years of skimming through mountains of content—most of which aimed at children—has honed my instincts for spotting if a particular movie or series had the conceptual range to accommodate an extended encounter with size-differential. Robert Rodriguez’s works rarely held back from fantastic imagery and their implications, so that sensibility was appealing to adopt.
The Spy Kids franchise in particular seemed constantly on the verge of doing a shrunken spy story, so I thought that would be a good hook for juicy visuals and saucy banter that would make size smut more plausible. “Casting” actors with established sexual appeal was also intended to make it easy for size novices to access the sexytimes.
At the same time, I knew my story would really only be read by admitted size kinksters, and I wanted to keep those few fans I had. And this story is clearly aimed primarily at hetmale macrophiles and the hetmale gaze, which is in keeping with the Rodriguez aesthetic but is more exclusive than I would like to be going forward.
When I first realized I wanted to keep writing size smut, I looked at some basic tips for fetish writers. One tip I followed was “Keep the fetish in focus,” which I interpreted as highlighting size-differential in every scene. I think I have a good sense—from a non-fetish perspective—of how often an attribute should be described, so I deliberately chose to err on the side of more often.
The challenge—and this one of my goals in encouraging critical conversations around size smut—is developing a style that keeps size-differential fresh and immediate while not over-doing it. The “ten subjective feet” was a device in service of this aim. Ideally, readers should feel comfortable navigating size scenarios while getting enough details to stay immersed in wonder.
One idea I want to steal from Aborigen is creating some pre-defined worlds that set some ground rules for what the reader can expect. The main benefit of this will be not having to belabor the disorientation and explanation each time size-differential is encountered.
I like metaphors that do double-duty, so I’m partial to items that match not only the dimensions of giant/tiny body parts but also the texture or function. “Sofa-sized lips” does that so well that it has predictably become cliche.
Now that I am composing for WordPress, I expect I will be able to be more diligent about consistent markups and special characters and diacritics than I was when my primary venues were Giantess City and Giantess World.
I remain greedy for feedback, even if only regarding a particular character, scene, or wording. What scene(s) would like to replay?
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I’m going to locate them later tonight and share them with you. I’ma do a bit of writing first.
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Here we go:
““Like this,” replied Francesca, reaching into her coat pocket and withdrawing what looked like a small flashlight. She shined the beam on him and Gregorio’s world rushed away from him.”
I have a “thing” for wanton, unapologetic shrinking executed in an ambush, by surprise, unannounced. And I always like to imagine the target’s face after it happens.
““Sorry, Gregorio,” said Donnagon. “We haven’t figured out the re-enlargement process yet.””
The same goes for that. “Oh, yes, I’m going to completely transform your body, alter your life, and there’s no going back. Don’t like it? Too bad!” I love that. Excellent potential for visuals.
“turning to sit on the bed and don her shoes. The sight of Ingrid’s enormous ass descending on him froze Gregorio for a half-second before he dove clear. He rode out the tremors in the mattress, then stood up.”
Another part of Size life I adore is buttplay (Butty July was my idea, after all), so that scene would get replayed a million times.
““What kind of flashlight is thi— ”
A strobe flared off the wall in Ingrid’s face, and she no longer felt Sid’s gun or heard his voice.”
A shrinking scene? No matter the outcome, no matter the movie or plot, always a favorite.
“Melissa’s mouth opened slightly and her tongue played on her teeth as she saw Sid’s head fall back in agony. She felt his ribs start to snap, her cheek twitched, and she brought her full weight down on him. Blood gouted from his mouth and nose, and his bones shattered as she ground her foot into the tile.”
Justified crushing in order to make someone pay for an evil deed = wonderful. Stomping for justice is something very easy for me to imagine. Instant replay.
And finally, when Gregorio gets told he won’t be regrown. I liked that. I should have stopped reading the story at that point! 😀
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